Diary of Payal Mehrahttp://payalm.rediffiland.com/Diary of Payal Mehraen-usYesterday Today & TomorrowThere are two days in every week we should not worry about, two days that should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.


Yesterday has passed, forever beyond our control. All the money in the
world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we
performed. Nor can we erase a single word we"ve said - yesterday is
gone.


The other day we shouldn"t worry about is tomorrow, with its
impossible. Tomorrow is beyond our control. Tomorrow"s sun will rise
either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds but it will rise. And
until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.


This leaves only one day - today. Any person can fight the battles
of just one day. It is only when we add the burdens of yesterday and
tomorrow that we break down.


It is not the experience of today that drives people mad - it is
the remorse of bitterness for something that happened yesterday, and
the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

]]>Thu, 15 Nov 2007 18:10:14 +0530http://payalm.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/11/15/Yesterday-Today-.htmlInter faith MarriageCultural harmony is a pledge that we need to stand by, at least constitutionally, but somehow the concept has lost its meaning in daily life. Although we are a democratic country by law, there exist certain social norms/ unspoken rules that we abide by. Life is tough, true, but is it tougher for those who choose to deviate from these rules.

Interfaith marriages are one such phenomenon. These marriages have been romanticised by the film industry, and dissected and debated by the media; however, the consensus with regards to its success still remains dubious.

An interfaith marriage is one where two people from different faiths (beliefs) come together in the institution of marriage. Faith might be synonymous to religion for many, but unlike religion faith has no strict, regimented boundaries.


The argument lies here: marriage is an institution based on unconditional love and acceptance (isn't it during wedding ceremonies that we hear statements like "in sickness and in health?"); well in that case faith, religion, colour, caste etc shouldn't matter, right? Sadly, not.

Individual differences exist and, therefore, when two people come together these differences will continue to exist. Every relationship requires communication, effort and trust and the same applies for interfaith marriages. Nevertheless, interfaith marriages have a few more challenges to face than couples of the same faith. Religious differences may create problems, but these can be lessened when there is open communication.

The most common causes for discontent relate to:

The immediate family: Dealing with the suggestions, and at times, harsh opinions of family members; objections; and trying to come to a decision amid differing views.
The wedding: Every religion involves its own specific rites. The couple will need to come to a compromise with regard to the functions, ceremonies and practices to be carried out.
Children: Some concerns here might involve naming the child, the religious practices to be followed by the child, etc.
Just like dealing with any other problem, there are certain strategies that will not only help in overcoming problems and but also help in preventing them from taking place. So if you are in love with someone of a different faith or in a rocky marriage, here are some tips to help smooth the relationship:

The big 'C': Communication that is two-way, direct, open and consistent is one of the best ways to help overcome potential problems. Since differences are bound to exist, it is important to talk to your partner about them.

Ignoring issues and just letting things fester will eventually create conflict. Depending on how important your faith is to you, discuss whether you will worship separately or together? Withdrawing from either of your faiths is only a temporary fix. There will probably come a time when one or both of you will yearn to be involved in your own religious traditions again.

Be realistic: There tend to exist, at times, unreasonable expectations for the novelty of loving someone different is romantic and exciting. The attraction of forbidden love is a distraction from dealing with the issues that might crop up. You may discover you are expecting too much, assuming that your love for one another can overcome all obstacles. But be realistic about your faith differences. Focus on common aspects of your faiths, find ways to merge traditions. Appreciate your religious convictions and celebrate your diversity.

Compromise: For instance, when planning the wedding check on whether you are able to include religious traditions from both your faiths. Often, interfaith couples have two separate ceremonies.

Don't impose your beliefs: Do not attempt to convert your partner to your beliefs. Conversion will work in the long term only if it is truly desired, and the decision is made without any pressure.

Awareness: Be aware of your own faith as well as your partner's. If there is any doubt or confusion, try sorting it out before expecting your partner or children to accept it.

Children: This is a sensitive issue, one that needs to be dealt with the most care. Before you have children, discuss any issues either of you may have concerning baptism or religious education. Decide whether your children will learn about both faiths or just one. Listen to your children; share their concerns, address stereotypes, possible prejudices, questions and experiences. Try not to impose your faith; allow them to choose their own religious identity and path. It is best for you and your partner to be role models of your own faiths and to help your kids discover their own faith.

Don't make snap judgments: During times of crisis it is easy to fling accusations, reminding your partner of the compromises that you have made. However, steer clear from such statements since, not only are they hurtful but also tend to get blown out of proportion. Do not make judgments based on the interference from your parents or your partner's; do not take sides.

The religious diversity in an interfaith marriage won't cause the relationship to fail; the inability of a couple to handle the differences will.

Individuals in interfaith relationships rarely talk about profound religious experiences or family holiday memories with each other because they fear it may be threatening and might rock the boat.

Opening up in an interfaith relationship is a slow process. Listen with renewed care while learning something new about your partner's religious background. One exercise that tends to bring increase positivity is using the calendar year to describe your memories of family holiday celebrations. Talk about any significant changes in these holiday celebrations as you grew up.

Talk about how your family celebrated or marked different events and ceremonies -- marriages, festivals, death and mourning; talk about the feelings they evoked in the context of your family.

As your partner shares his or her story, be an active listener. Keep in mind that these experiences shaped the person you wish to share the rest of your life with. As you uncover these, you will help each other untangle the complexities by which religion ties each of us to our family and family memories.

]]>Tue, 09 Oct 2007 17:56:21 +0530http://payalm.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/10/09/Inter-faith.htmlA Little Boys TemperThere once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said "you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one."

You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there.

Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later.
]]>Fri, 05 Oct 2007 16:15:23 +0530http://payalm.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/10/05/A-Little-Boys.htmlTwo Touching StoriesThere was once this guy who is very much in love with his girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl.

Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his future didn"t seem too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them, so they went their own ways there and then...

Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself.

Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company .

You never fail until you stop trying. One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walk ing to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn"t take him long to realize they were his girl"s parents.

With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn"t the same any more; he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He made it! What he saw next confused him, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and so he got out of his car and followed...and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone and he saw his paper cranes right beside her...

Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was ill with cancer. She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want to be his obstacle... therefore she had chosen to leave him.
Just because someone doesn"t love you the way you wa nt them to, doesn"t mean they don"t love you with all they have. She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again...he can take some of those back with him...

Once you have loved, you will always love. For what"s in your mind may escape but what"s in your heart will remain forever.

The guy just wept...The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside her knowing you can"t have her, see her or be with her ever again.........hope you understand.

Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you thought meant nothing to you.

KINDNESS Pays !

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.
He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?"

"You don"t owe me anything," she replied "Mother has taught us never to accept payment for a kindness." He said... "Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt; stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Years later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes.
Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.
Dressed in his doctor"s gown he we nt in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room.
She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally, she looked, and something caught ; her attention on the side as She read these words.....

"Paid in full with one glass of milk." (Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You, GOD, that Your love has spread abroad through human hearts and hands."


]]>Thu, 27 Sep 2007 14:26:16 +0530http://payalm.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/09/27/Two-Touching.htmlJealous HusbandA jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.


A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw the man and his wife participate in a dozen activities with utter glee.


"I just can't believe this," the distraught husband said.


The detective said, "What's not to believe? It's right up there on the screen!"

The husband replied, "I can't believe that my wife could be so much fun!"

]]>Wed, 19 Sep 2007 15:11:37 +0530http://payalm.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/09/19/Jealous.htmlDoes anyone know how to add an image?
]]>Fri, 14 Sep 2007 16:19:41 +0530http://payalm.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/09/14/Does-anyone-know-how-to-add-an.htmlMy blog submissionVisit blogadda.com to discover Indian blogs
My Blog is submitted to Blogadda which provides Indian bloggers a platform to showcase their blogs.







]]>Thu, 13 Sep 2007 15:39:40 +0530http://payalmehra.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/09/13/My-blog.htmlA MessageThe paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years to life not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space
We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.

These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.



]]>Mon, 10 Sep 2007 16:40:51 +0530http://payalmehra.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/09/10/A.htmlSome Facts of India HistoryThe official Sanskrit name for India is Bharat

INDIA has been called Bharat even in Satya yuga (Golden Age)


The number system was invented by India. Aryabhatta was the scientist who invented the digit zero.

The" place value system" and the "decimal system" were developed in 100 BC in India

The World"s First Granite Temple is the Brihadeswara temple at Tanjavur in Tamil Nadu. The shikhara is made from a single " 80-tonne " piece of granite. Also, this magnificient temple was built in just five years, (between 1004 AD and 1009 AD) during the reign of Rajaraja Chola.

The game of snakes & ladders was created by the 13th century poet
saint Gyandev. It was originally called "Mokshapat." The ladders in the game represented virtues and the snakes indicated vices. The game was played with cowrie shells and dices. Later through time, the game underwent several modifications but the meaning is the same i.e good deeds take us to heaven and evil to a cycle of re-births.

The world"s highest cricket ground is in Chail, Himachal Pradesh.

Built in 1893 after levelling a hilltop, this cricket pitch is 2444 meters above sea level.

Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny

The largest employer in the world is the Indian railway system, employing over a million people !.

The World"s first university was established in Takshila in 700 BC.
More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4th century was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.

"What makes a nation, is the past, what justifies one nation
against others is the past", says the noted historian Eric Hobsbawm.

Hence, when talking of a nation, it becomes very imperative that
the past should also be talked about. And the past of India is as
fascinating and interesting as it is momentous.



]]>Fri, 07 Sep 2007 13:51:17 +0530http://payalmehra.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/09/07/Some-Facts-of-India.htmlMoral of the Story

A teacher told her young class to ask their parents For a family story with a moral at the end of it, and To return the next day to tell their stories.


In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example First, "My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One Day we were taking lots of eggs to market in a basket On the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump In the road; the basket fell off the seat and all the Eggs broke."
The moral of the story is not to put all Your eggs in one basket..


"Very good," said the teacher.



Next, Mary said, "We are farmers too. We had twenty Eggs waiting to hatch, but when they did we only got Ten chicks."


"The moral of this story is not to count Your chickens before they"re hatched .."


"Very good ," said the teacher again, very pleased with The response so far.


Next it was Barney"s turn to tell his story: "My dad

Told me this story about my Aunt Karen.. Aunt Karen Was a flight engineer in the war and her plane got Hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all She had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a Machete."


"Go on," said the teacher, intrigued.

"Aunt Karen drank the whiskey on the way down to
Prepare herself; then she landed right in the middle Of a hundred enemy soldiers. She killed seventy of Them with the machine gun until she ran out of Bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete Till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten With her bare hands."


"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher,
"What did Your father say was the moral of that frightening Story?"

The child said "Stay away from Aunt Karen when she"s
been Drinking."

]]>Thu, 06 Sep 2007 18:23:11 +0530http://payalmehra.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/09/06/Moral-of-the.html